Santa fic

Eugene’s son Alex came to him one day in the library while he was reading his book.

“Dad, how does Santa get down the chimney if he’s so fat?”

“To get down the chimney, he has magic that helps him get skinnier for a while and once he gets inside the house he’s fat again.”

“But then why is he so fat?”

“He’s probably just constipated.”

“What is contipitated?”

“Constipated. It means he has 30 pounds of crap stuck in his guts.”

“What?”

Eugene backtracked. “He just eats a lot Alex, too much sugar. He’s probably diabetic too. All those cookies he gets from kids every year is not healthy. That’s why you need to cut back on the sugar Alex or you’ll get fat like Santa.”

“I get to be like Santa? Yay!”

Eugene closed his book and sighed. This kid needs to sort out his priorities.